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I have a friend, Anjali, whose family life is
full of challenges.
From having to deal with alcoholic family
members and personal tragedies to looking after
a seriously handicapped grandchild, she is being
buffeted by the storms of life ceaselessly.
Unable to see her pain, I once remarked half
jokingly that she must be a favourite of the
gods who want her to complete in one shot a
karmic debt that most of us have spread over two
or three life times.
She looked at me with a cocked eyebrow and both
of us fell silent, wondering….
Are those who seem to have more than their fair
share of difficulties and heartbreak the special
ones or are they marked out unfairly, or is it
rather just a quirk of fate, random selection or
purely bad luck?
Stories abound of people who have suffered major
tragedies, ranging from multiple deaths in the
family to debilating illnesses, severe
accidents, swings of fortune to actually losing
everything. None of us honestly has the answer
to ‘why such things happen’. What stands out in
our memory, though, is how these people coped.
Put simply, did the painful experiences make the
person bitter or better?
I am not sure whether my friend is a favourite
of the gods. I do know, however, that her life
experiences have brought her closer to her God.
I know several people, as do you, who have taken
refuge in and gotten strength by connecting to
their Spiritual Source.
When I was struggling to come out of alcoholism,
there were times when I felt completely
desolate. An article I read at that time became
a lifeline. It spoke about how when we feel
totally cut-off and alienated, God reties the
knot and brings us closer to Him.
Is it possible, then, that sometimes tragedies
happen, when we are in danger of drifting too
far from our Spiritual roots?
It is interesting for me to see that Anjali, who
earlier saw her life as a living hell, now
speaks of life’s challenges with buoyancy that
seems to come from an inner strength.
Many, many people have been propelled by
misfortunes to take stock of their life and
redirect their energies toward living better
focused, more compassionate and loving lives.
Devika was born with a golden spoon into a
reputed family. She was good looking and blessed
with a wealth of talent. She was admired by many
and adored by her husband. All this, in her
words, made her ‘very arrogant’. In her mid
fifties, her life was jolted by multiple
tragedies.
Several people close to her, including her
husband passed away. Differences within the
family left her feeling empty and lonely.
Meeting her Guru at this stage turned her life
around.
Today her face shines with an inner beauty,
which has little to do with good looks. Her love
and compassion have drawn countless people to
her. Each has a story of how she has helped them
grow and glow. Today she is loved and admired by
many. All this, in her own words, makes her feel
‘humble and fortunate’.
Is it possible then that sometimes tragedies
happen to save us from ourselves, so to speak?
That they happen to make us better, more loving
and more compassionate?
Over and above all this there seems to be a
Divine Plan. Whether karmically triggered or
celestially ordained, things happen that we do
not understand. There is no doubt, however, that
spread over all the hard times and the
calamities that we cannot comprehend is a gentle
blanket called Grace.
My mother was gratefully aware of how tenderly
she was held in Divine Embrace while she endured
the ravages of cancer. Surrounded by family and
caring friends, protected from a sense of lack
and blessed by an awesome view from her balcony,
she peacefully watched the play of Cancer as it
strutted and stomped through her body. And when
it was her time she, serenely and ‘Gracefully’,
passed on out of her body.
Is it possible then that tragedy comes holding
Grace by the hand so that through her we may
befriend both Gratitude and Courage?
Then are those who wrench from their suffering
gifts to offer the world. The cry of their heart
is forged and tempered in the dark night of the
soul emerging in stirring art forms, in poignant
poetry or melliflous melody. Much art and great
wisdom has sprung from heartache and heartbreak.
Is it possible then that tragedy is the
deceptive packaging in which Nature conceals
some of her best gifts of art, music and
literature?
I cock an eyebrow and I wonder, could it be that
those who face more than their fair share of
misfortune are the special ones?
That they can be, if they wish, channels for
love, compassion, service and expression.
They can be ‘The Chosen Ones.
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Why Me by 
